"Before I watched Jurassic Park, I was a kid who was obsessed with dinosaurs. After I watched Jurassic Park, I was a woman who was obsessed with Jeff Goldblum.
On my way back from my final bathroom trip, I literally ran into Jeff Goldblum in the hallway. His legs are longer than my entire body, maybe. “Oh hi, Mr. Goldblum, I am really looking forward to the show tonight,” I did not say. Instead, I made a sound like a dog makes when you step on its tail and he kept walking, clearly on a mission.”
If our data is the oil of the 21st century, then why aren’t we all sheiks? We’ve all been sharing, but the smart ones have been collecting…Privacy. Transparency. Surveillance. Security gap. I don’t want to hear about it. These are sloppy downplayings of a radical new condition: We don’t own ourselves any more. We are digital serfs.
(We are told to surf the web, but in the end, the web serf’d us.)
The first month of home ownership has been pretty glamorous! Set up a second rain barrel, planted some garlic, winter onions, kale, lettuce, and Jerusalem artichokes, baked the first batch of cookies on our new oven-from-the-future, and will get the first mortgage payment in the mail in the morning. This old house is feeling homier and homier! The back door has miraculously not fallen off, the gap at the bottom of the front door is plugged with a towel to (hopefully…maybe) deter cockroaches from entering until we get proper weather stripping. Lucy (the cat-teen) kindly took out a poor mouse for us and left only it’s head on a tiny stake as evidence of the kill. The resident stray cat is the most annoying fucker I’ve ever met, but we’re still becoming fast friends. I laced his kibble rations with de-wormer this morning and he was malnourished enough to eat it without hesitation. Poor fella. Other wildlife sightings have included a hummingbird, squirrel, possum, snails, and the termites munching on our shed.